MGW Story Check: results Part 1

[mastergraywolf]

I didn't do any changes just yet. I'm just skimming them over and pointing out what I think could use a change.

Generally I use too many semicolons and colons where I shouldn't.

More than I thought:

TRIO OF IGA
- The year was 1560 (May add era)
- "The boys were surprised and worried" should be after "face".
- "Hayato turned thirteen last January" will be changed. I put Hayato's b-day in Jan but in Japan, ages were determined differently. I'll have to check my notes. They're also a year old upon birth. ;) Shou would be 11 and Yoshi would be 9.
- Remove about the sakura
- They lived in Shiga Province = "The Koga"
- I should remove some semicolons (para 8. Ie: about stone kunai), also colons
- Space between oni and the. I wonder...
- righr (typo for "right")
- Age changes
- OK, I'll just work on in!

Stalwart Silver
- I like the Pope in this (xD)
- Is how I address the Pope incorrect? (Ie: Your Holiness, My Holiness?). Probably not...

Jumping Monkey
- Only 1st ch is up
- Semi colon misuse again.
- "Momentarily, he went astray from his path, the sounds of animals enticing him" may be changed
- Mostly OK.

OK

Too tired...