I just can't. Oh, my language.

Don't write while tired.

I'm blogging because ... I'm just mad and I'm not concerned about consequences over criticizing teen pregnancy.

I seriously don't care. Call me misogynist, I'm fine with it. No, I don't think pregnant teens are "whores", "sluts", add any female derogative word. Pregnancy is not interconnected with prostitution or sleeping a lot. It just means that you received semen in the uterus, okay?

I am at a state where I can't get over it and I am insensitive because it has the potential of screwing people up. Even those who a part of the support. Or rather, I'm just in an unfortunate situation where I hate people. We develop our reproductive system at a young age, does that mean have kids? Or we can't think at all?

I absolutely dislike TP, especially when the parents are so self-centered and use children to feign that they have the backbone to face responsibility AND that they'll stay out of trouble or stop creating it. If it makes sense. I also don't like sexual pressure; I didn't see it as the GATE to being awesome, never did. I didn't give in to this feeling that I was required to have a boyfriend during high school, I didn't feel that I had to look cool because school was difficult enough as it was. Flirting was too temporary in school; it felt like a game, and it wasn't reliable in the first place.

TP hate is quite easy because there is this superficial distaste in "kids having kids". It's a blot on kids. Paternity shows and Teen Mom shows are a blot on "parents". They are blot on those who made a different decision aside from them -- like me, who didn't give in to pressure. Was I wrong?

BTW, this is not a rape case. This is not a trauma here, which I am sure I'd be more sympathetic.

One reason why I can't get much done is because I'm watching someone else's child.

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With that out of the way, babysitting really breaks my focus. I'm constantly up and out of my seat. I have to hear the continuous sounds of baby music and baby chatter, and watch my niece so that she doesn't hurt herself.

SolAka is still in it's draft stage and I don't think I'm halfway done with the chapter. I feel like if I rush, I'll lose.

Thanks for reading my nasty ramble. I hope that you are being patient.

My tweets

• Sat, 13:29: ~_~ Babysitting but working on SolAka
• Sat, 13:29: I also slightly edited Uzumaki again
• Sat, 13:29: The 3rd should call the 4th "Minato" and not by last name.
• Sat, 13:30: 【コメ付き】全198機 ロボットの大きさを比較「ガンダム系からエヴァ、メタルギア、マクロス色々」: http://t.co/BjcFeGTQSU via @youtube
• Sat, 13:30: I LOVE #MONSTERRANCHER FANS! #モンスターファーム #dragonball 【MAD】ブロリーのモンスターファーム2【ブロリー育成編】: http://t.co/X1zweKaFGW via @youtube
• Sat, 13:31: #amazing emotion Kingdom Hearts 3 E3 2013 Trailer Reactions: http://t.co/d0BrUI2dKV via @youtube
• Sat, 13:32: I also love Mario Party Another Freakout Compilation of Mario Party!!: http://t.co/mSo023n02s via @youtube
• Sat, 21:29: Trying not to give up. Gotta keep trying
• Sat, 22:58: I frickin' can't get anywhere
• Sat, 22:58: The baby is so distracting

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2014: Current story thoughts

Another ramble, more friendly. This is update on stories.

United We Soar
I feel like I'm really stuck, I made this story to focus on the mind of a new fighter pilot, especially when he is entering his first combat operations. I also wanted to create a fighter plane. But in regards to the details behind the war, and how the story will end, I am really stuck. The next chapter has to do with a phone call, and shouldn't take my long at all. Afterward is the start of a combat mission. I must've really messed up going along with this.

Stalwart Silver
I am told a few times that it is "well-written" and that I should publish it in other places. Extremely flattering. But, SS feels like a waste. I will complete it, but it feels like a shallow and pointless story. The idea was for an uncanny boy to understand "loving" a mortal. At the least, to learn how to show empathy outside of duty. It might be impossible for me in a short story.

Seishin Ninja Series
I can't think of anything. I have many characters and I just can't craft any plot ideas. I don't know what it is. I must be really stubborn in wanting to make this series good, and because of that I hesitate. I still think, "It's not Japan..." "It's not what I want to convey", "I feel like I must do research", "my research is limited".

If this continues, the Iga Tensho stories won't happen in years.

SolAka
Always difficult, but I enjoy the story. I can't wait to show more. Also, there might be a 2nd season.
I recently rekindled my interest but I need alone time to focus better.

Uzumaki Tales

Let me starting by saying that I am not that happy with the comic direction of NARUTO.

As ninja are romanticized in various media, with NARUTO being no exception, NARUTO has become an international hit. Ninja drama has existed for years and I grew up enjoying the element of mysteriousness attached to the ninja. Also, I am a martial arts fans. Swords, bo sticks, throwing knives, anything where tools are used skillfully. Thus, the reason why I wanted to do Seishin Series, research all I can about ninja, and send it out into novel.

However, as NARUTO's Part 2 developed, it has become more of a shounen comic. a rule-defying comic. Action oriented, WHICH IS NOT A PROBLEM AT ALL, but it has become like Dragonball where power level is an important factor, female and side characters become virtually insignificant, and trust is determined by how much stronger you are. One boy can turn the tides of a large-scale battle; the background of the Uchiha encompasses the plot, conquering the significance of the Akatsuki organization and the potential of war. And oh, Itachi...I don't want to get into it.

War has a lack of shock value. It has not diminished completely as there are some very interesting PARTS, but I am not that impressed.

What NARUTO does succeed in is being an adventure and well-thought out as a world. The main character Naruto Uzumaki succeeds in being friendly and likable (least to me); we learn about the consequences of hatred; the cast is large and mostly memorable too. I'll stop here.

I'm not doing a review so I'm not elaborating my complaint that well.

I am ambivalent about fanfiction; I sometimes dislike how people disturb canon. I want to use fanfiction to prove that I read/watch/played something and then write proving my appreciation for what I read/watched/played. I don't do character bashing, I don't do main-original character stories (however, Penitent Feathers is my first, so I can convey the importance of the Sagittarius Saints. Might've been a bad idea to go with?), I don't do smut (I think it's incredibly pointless and just a guilty pleasure), etc.

Since I'm doing Seishin to set the tone of what ninja were, and since NARUTO comic might end this year, I thought of Uzumaki a re-telling. I have a fondness for "what makes people" and what a story and what characters can teach. It's not really a punch to Kishimoto; you wouldn't be an author without mistakes and I'm sure he has editors that can influence his direction of the comic.

I like affirming stories, I can like "positive energy" like with super robot franchise, but not that much with NARUTO. I'm almost annoyed by the popularity that it gets, especially in fanfiction, and how fanfic authors debase the series with their desperate self-inserting and their warped, unable to cope interpretations of canon reality (like with romantic pairings).