I just can't. Oh, my language.

[mastergraywolf]

Don't write while tired.

I'm blogging because ... I'm just mad and I'm not concerned about consequences over criticizing teen pregnancy.

I seriously don't care. Call me misogynist, I'm fine with it. No, I don't think pregnant teens are "whores", "sluts", add any female derogative word. Pregnancy is not interconnected with prostitution or sleeping a lot. It just means that you received semen in the uterus, okay?

I am at a state where I can't get over it and I am insensitive because it has the potential of screwing people up. Even those who a part of the support. Or rather, I'm just in an unfortunate situation where I hate people. We develop our reproductive system at a young age, does that mean have kids? Or we can't think at all?

I absolutely dislike TP, especially when the parents are so self-centered and use children to feign that they have the backbone to face responsibility AND that they'll stay out of trouble or stop creating it. If it makes sense. I also don't like sexual pressure; I didn't see it as the GATE to being awesome, never did. I didn't give in to this feeling that I was required to have a boyfriend during high school, I didn't feel that I had to look cool because school was difficult enough as it was. Flirting was too temporary in school; it felt like a game, and it wasn't reliable in the first place.

TP hate is quite easy because there is this superficial distaste in "kids having kids". It's a blot on kids. Paternity shows and Teen Mom shows are a blot on "parents". They are blot on those who made a different decision aside from them -- like me, who didn't give in to pressure. Was I wrong?

BTW, this is not a rape case. This is not a trauma here, which I am sure I'd be more sympathetic.

One reason why I can't get much done is because I'm watching someone else's child.

Because, apparently it's logic to sneak people into your parents house and have plenty of unprotected sex with non-boyfriend, and deny getting pregnant until there's a DNA test. Also, lying that you did it in parents house. Also, calling it an "accident"? That was no fuckin' accident.

So now, I have the watch the kid of this pugnacious filth. The "mother" that is (adopted relative); the promiscuous father is in the military.

Oh, because the task of watching a child such a virtue and because there's the obligation of "family attachment", which the "mom" does not know the meaning of. So she gets welfare for the baby and does not buy fundamental materials. Who says, "It's too cold to get diapers"? SO, the one potential danger to the baby.

Also, she does not have personal transportation; in other words, she can't drive and takes the bus. Or so it seems, she bought a car w/o license or plate with student loan. Drove around a few times with it, almost got arrested (I so wish), even driving with niece NOT in a car seat. So that's another potential danger to the kid.

Someone is driving her around now it seems.

The personal stories are too long to explain why one person gives me so much grief. I don't feel like making a long list of her current and past dumb shit and quotes, but let's just say that my poor and ugly case of rancor has a background. It's just a shame that she gets more money than common workers for having a child and won't use it properly. I'm going to turn conservative if this keeps up.

All I know is that I hate foolish parents and having to suffer the consequences. I hate it when there is not making up for it. She can fuck up (and continue to fuck) because she's taking everything for granted. She expects her child to be watched by others because she has school/work. Expecting this, while being pugnacious towards adoptive family (MY ONLY FAMILY). Thus, the reason why she reconnected with drug/abuse/criminal connected biological family. She didn't treat my family kindly in the first place. She acts like a child, thinking that kindness is measured from what she receives and to not be criticized.

I don't have children and I spent so much time watching my niece since her birth. Same goes for her grandparents (from father's side)

So now what? Niece's parents needs at least a year or two to "get somewhere" significant? As of now, I couldn't have children in this case? Or I couldn't work longer for my own benefit. I feel like I'm stuck.

The weekends is when I'm usually off, and the baby is usually with me. So, break = baby. She is at an age where is she very receptive and energetic. I can't say that my home is the best baby-proofed place. You have jumping baby + glass tables, rooms with dressers and wide beds, etc.

I'm not a daycare. And why can't she go to daycare (24 hours) BEFORE the parent goes to school or/and work? ESPECIALLY if she has a ride.

Frankly, I rather pick her up from daycare and take her to HER PARENT. What the hell is going on? Why I do have to spend sleepless nights, even during work days, with a baby? Why even the grandparents?

With that out of the way, babysitting really breaks my focus. I'm constantly up and out of my seat. I have to hear the continuous sounds of baby music and baby chatter, and watch my niece so that she doesn't hurt herself.

SolAka is still in it's draft stage and I don't think I'm halfway done with the chapter. I feel like if I rush, I'll lose.

Thanks for reading my nasty ramble. I hope that you are being patient.